Thursday, September 10, 2009

How do you serve God outside of Emotions?

So I've grown up in church, yep, I'm a pew brat. In a pentecostal/Charasmatic church. My dad was the Pastor. Wow, it doesn't get more challenging than that. So you learn so many things and go through life just expecting that everyone else put up with this kind of crap their whole life. Like this girl in California who lived in her captivity for so long she finally accepted it. This was her lot in life. Wow. I'm so terrified of not realizing that I'm in a place of captivity and don't even know it. I think most people who have lived in any type of cultic situation will feel that way. Once your out of it... geesh.... how did I ever get there? So living like this for so long and trusting so much and relying on so many things to bring you comfort only to realize that your emotions were begging for something ... anything to make you feel good. I just read Time magazines special issue on the Brain and it was so cool to see that when people were in prayer in the MRI machine... their frontal cortex was just lit up! So if I were to sit down and examine my relationship with God... how much of that relationship is built on how it makes me feel? What are the 'high's' caused by? Can I say that outside of emotion does my relationship with God change dramatically or minimally? It's going to change... I just wonder how much? Do i have ANY relationships that operate in that same way? Most of my closest relationships have so little to do with emotions.... we just flow in friendship.. no matter how we feel. hm? but man, it sure feels good to feel good.

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