Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friends...
So much of my life has been spent in Ministry. Not friends, parishoners. So that requires a little more finess. My lifelong friends I can count on one hand... from my childhood or Church or High School. I made good friends in college but few made it past the 20 year mark. So I stepped out of ministry and realized I had been living in a cocoon. I hid in my house and now have no idea how to be a neighbor, although Bob did teach me alot when I lived in Cory Indiana. I could not play favorites and kept everyone I pastored at arms length. I was crazy busy and my business was relationships so it makes sense that when I wasn't involved in Ministry, I escaped to the solitude of Nature. Now here I am after years of fighting off people, fame and freakishly needy people. Trish and I spent the last three years telling ourselves we were going to make friends. Real friends... one's you can be vulnerable with, laugh, cry, laugh, and be brutally honest with. Darren and Tina in Wisconsin, Dave and Dorothy, Sandra and Otis, Kyle and Wendy in Tampa. We spent the entire afternoon cooking last saturday preparing a sumptuous feast for our friends, whom we love. I'm finding healing from the damage of Ministerial stupidity... can you see that, or is it just me?
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It's not just you. I know many of us did put some others up on a pedestal, not knowing what we were doing to both ourselves, and to those on the pedestal. Your frustration at times must have been astounding. Some will tell you that it is all part of the sacrifice for the ministry. Hogwash! I had a youth pastor once that I still consider one of my closest friends, but I thought that he might be a tortured soul beneath it all. How could I ultimately accept and follow a ministry that could do that to a person? I don't believe that God wants that kind of sacrifice, where someone sacrifices their own escence to further someone elses agenda. Well, after years of moving around with the Air Force and the Marine Corps, I find myself in a similar position (not letting people in, making friends, and being a good neighbor). I wouldn't mind being a good neighbor, but I am so much better at keeping them at bay. So, I don't qualify to give, nor do I have, any advise for this situation, but I can say that I am exceedingly glad to hear that healing is in process there. May God bless you, your home, and your relationships.
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