Monday, August 31, 2009
This is the first entry to my blog... well, my first blog ever. I'm hoping to incorporate what I've learned as a result of my life of addiction into everyday life for those who find religion a very toxic place and religious people extremely annoying. I love God with all my heart, I trust the Holy Spirit to help me find my way down this really scary path. I'm still searching for a much greater understanding of Jesus than I've known before. It appears as I've tried to re-develop my relationship with Christ theses past four years, I've had to spend the majority of my time undoing so much damage.. sometimes I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface. What were the first 45 years about? How could I have been so gullable.. I can't even see level ground yet. After spending 16 years with a 'mentor' and walking away from his swath of destruction... it's taking time. Planting seeds, giving above tithe, complete subjugation to authority, placing everything behind man's will, always looking for that 'big break' the 'miracle' around the next corner. Well, after 23 years of looking around corners I finally find that my personality leans to co-dependency and that I have a desire to please and serve which makes me subject to predators.... ministerial predators who are looking to build their kingdom with 50 people on 50 acres in the middle of the woods. How can you be so blind for so long? hm.